The title
of my letter basically sums up the whole rest of my week.. I sent a very
late e-mail last week but then a lot of things have happened since then. Lots
of prayers, tears, more prayers, and peace.. and that peace is what
brings me
to today. Where do I even begin?
Things
I've learned this week
1. Trust
in the Lord
2. Submit
to his will, and humble yourself.
3. I am a
Daughter of God. He loves me and cares about me.
4. Your
body is a temple.
This
week has been full of hard decisions. I've also learned about myself I tend to
run when it comes to life choices. Fight of flight I tend to flight! ha-ha jk
but serious.
So with
my current health situation I've been presented the possibility of going home a
transfer early. Being the Sister Clark I am. The thought was unthinkable. Even
a bit repulsive. 'I am a missionary, I'm here to do the Lords will and preach
his gospel and invite others to come unto Christ'.
That has
been my attitude during this illness. Walking through life and the mission with
horse blinders of what the Lords will was for me... It wasn't until I started
realizing that my actions, and my true grit to do what I love and what I wanted
affect others. I slowly but surly took of the blinders and started to be
accepting and willing to pray and seek for his will not mine.
As I prayed I felt and have felt peace about
taking care of my body and going home. It has been one of the hardest decisions
of my life. One that I do not wish on anyone. But I have been so blessed to
feel at peace. And have the support of wonderful leaders, nurses and
companions.
This week
has been a very emotionally draining but spiritually growing week. Sister
Harvey and I have grown closer together as a companionship then ever before.
It's amazing how when you’re placed in certain trials with someone you grow so
much stronger together.
One of
the biggest things I keep learning over and over again is to trust in the Lord
and lean not to your own understanding. As I have prayed and prayed and
struggled and wrestled with God, when I eventually let go and gave into his
will I've finally been able to feel at peace. I'm able to see things from a
better perspective and know that this is God's will.
I've also
decided, if I'm going to do this I'm going to have the best attitude about it
ever! Or at least try:). I think the moment when I really decided that this is
what I needed to do, was when sister Harvey and I were talking in our
apartment, the spirit was super strong and she just sat on the bed and was
trying to help me figure out what to do. She started to cry and tell me how
much she loved me and how she just wanted what was best for me. I've realized
that my selfish hardheaded desires and actions also affect others as well, like
my companion, the area and other things.
The Lord
has blessed me with so much peace to know that everything will work out. That
he has another plan for me. Also that 'the lord judges us according to the
desires of our hearts. I know that he knows I have such a strong desire to
serve him and be here and he is not going to with hold any blessings from me
because of my Health. I know that God lives, that I am his daughter and that he
cares about my eternal progression as well. I have been so blessed to be able
to serve him for as long as I have.
I know
that with all my heart that this is the Lords work. This gospel is true. It
brings so much joy and peace. I KNOW THAT THE POWER OF PRAYER AND FASTING IS
REAL. I know that if we are willing to listen, He will give us an answer. If we
are not and we are set in our ways. There is no way for him to communicate with
us. We must be still and know that he is God. That he knows all. Recognize how
he speaks to us then allow yourself to be OK with how he answers and do his
will positively.
That’s what I’ve been trying to do and I know
that as my dad says. You can't control the events that occur in our lives but
our reaction to them always affects the outcome.
I'm excited to be able to work hard and serve
the best I can for another week. Then The Lord has more for me to do in Utah as
well:) thanks for all you do! God is real. Christ Lives. The Church is True..
the Book is blue:)
Love,
Sister
Clark
Clear
eyes, full heart, can't lose!
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| Sister Reed and I were banished because we were sick....it's okay we had some great "mother daughter bonding" |
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| Smoke detector wouldn't stop chirping so Sister Harvey took care of it |
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| The ultimate example of impatience |
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| Happy sickies |
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